Monday 22 March 2021

Six Wacky Conspiracy Theories That Americans Love to Believe

Why do folks — especially Americans — fall for conspiracy theories? Because there’s something exciting about thinking you’re in on something that the rest of the public is too naive to see. They’re all sheep, you see. The truth is out there in the form of such things as blurry photographs and anonymous internet posts that are taken at face value. So what are the weirdos believing in these days? Here are 6 popular conspiracies that have been making their way across discussion boards and social media.

6. Lorde is actually in her late 30s or even early 40s!

The New Zealand musical prodigy Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O’Connor, who goes by the stage name Lorde, wrote the hit song “Royals” at the tender age of 16. The lyrics are so mature and the melody is so elegant that she’s clearly wise beyond her years. This can only mean one thing: she must be faking her age! There’s no possible way that she could have been born on November 7, 1996! What’s the evidence? Sometimes she looks older, which tends to happen when a young woman wears makeup. Oh, but what about the fact that she claimed to have been a teenager when Virgin Suicides came out in 1999? Or that she let it “slip out” in an interview with Vanity Fair that she’s actually 45? Maybe — just maybe! — she enjoys screwing with the Truthers. 

5. Eminem died and has secretly been replaced!

Say, have you noticed that Eminem no longer looks the way he did at the prime of his career when he was in his late 20s/early 30s? It could be that he’s 47 and simply aging naturally. His weight as fluxulated and he does have a history of drug addiction, so of course he must have died. Or was even a victim of a car accident. Or most likely the Illuminati was devastated when he refused to join their organization, so they had him wrapped in a carpet and thrown off a bridge. So then how do you explain that he’s still around making music, giving interviews and whatnot? He must have been cloned! Or more likely a cyborg. 

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